For I Am With You

For I am with you, and no one will attack and harm you, for many people in this city belong to me.” (Acts 18:10 NLT).

I dreaded as I knew it was coming, as he already told me of his plan. He reminded me of the secret when he said, he would come to my room that evening. My heart pounded with fear, as I waited. How would I be able to stop this? What could I do? I didn't have any answers, I just felt numb and knew that his power was greater than mine. 

 A family friend, that had become very close to us, perhaps too close became intertwined in our home. This man fooled the adults in my life, and regardless of their oblivious insight, this man held me emotionally and spiritually captive for years, by using manipulation and threats to sexual molest me.  That evening, while my siblings and I were under his care, he told me that he would be coming to my room after my brother and sister had fallen asleep, I took his word for it. At this point, there was nothing to convince me otherwise. Every act he had mentioned thus far, he managed to carry out, so why wouldn't this be any different? And nothing had changed in me to stop it. I was felt helpless and afraid. I had no voice. 

Many years have gone by since he took my childhood. The innocence and carefree attitude that I once possessed, is no longer part of me. Although, it was challenging and discouraging, God held his promise to get me though the turmoil. The Lord has given me the courage and strength to overcome this abuse. The chains that once kept me captive in fear, have been broken free. 

Although, I overcame the emotional pain from enduring the abuse, I often thought about that night, when that man came into my bedroom. How was he able to succeed and get away from leaving any physical damage to my little girl body? There were no evidence  that would show that a grown man had just raped a young child. There was no blood. There was no pain. There was no tears. I don't recall making any noise or whimpering. In fact, I lay as still as I could, waiting for him to finish. Outwardly, no one would be able to tell, that I had been violated.

For years, I tried to piece it together, to make sense of it. and finally concluded, this was this man's craft. He was a skilled child molester, and knew exactly how far to go, so that no trace of evidence was left. I classified him as to being a "pro". He was cunning enough to know his limits, when to stop and how to ensure he could get away with this act. 

For years, I gave him the credit. Yes, he was getting his directions and insight from Satan. Yes, he knew what he was doing and how to make sure there would be no ties to him. But the fact remains that I was never physically harmed from this act of violence. This man deserves no credit!

Just this week, it hit me. I am woman in her twenty sixth year of marriage, which has been healthy. I have had two children, who are also healthy. I have never had any physically liabilities due to my body being misused at such a young age. It really hit me, what really happened that evening when I was raped. Or perhaps, the bigger question WHO was with me that evening?

Jesus deserves the credit!!

I know without a doubt that I was not alone when this occurred. I know without a doubt that Jesus put Himself between me and this man to protect for any lasting physical damage that could be caused by a rape. Jesus took the abuse in my place. Jesus took the rape, so that I could grow up, marry and have children.  I give God all the honor and glory for my family; my husband and my children, where I have shared being a parent for twenty five years.  

 Jesus protected me that evening and the countless other times, this man raped me and abused my body. Jesus ensured, that I would not only become emotionally healthy, He ensured my body would be healthy as well. Jesus promises He is with me, then and now. I belong to HIM!!

Do You Have A Light?

I have come as a light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me would not remain in the darkness.  
(John 12: 46 HCSB)

The unhappy Christian; it sounds like an odd choice of words doesn’t it? Two powerful words when put together that can lead to unhealthy thinking. Yet, it seems to be coming more and more common.  Does the proverbial dark cloud hover over your head? Are you always expecting the worst to happen, seeing the negative, being the ultimate pessimist, instead of putting your faith to the test and being optimistic?

Soon that dark cloud becomes bothersome and before you know it, a whirlpool of despair begins to swirl around and around in our mind, and we become dizzy with pain, a lack of enthusiasm and plain ole negativity takes root.

The bible tells us that we are “the light that gives light to the world.” The bible instructs us how to live in such a way that we can be a witness for Jesus.  How influential is your light?  Is it dull, dim and barely visible? Or is it a bright, vibrant, a blinding beacon that shines vibrantly for Jesus?  

Perhaps rejoicing in the Lord and embracing the simple truth, that we are His, we can find ways to make ourselves happy with our daily existence. Perhaps, just by looking in the mirror, and instead of seeing the reflection we would normally see, we are looking through God’s eyes.  Being an unhappy Christian should be a foreign concept to us.

I grew up in a very negative household. I am sure I am not alone by saying this. I am also sure that I am not alone by guessing that each one of us has a story to tell from personal experience just how negativity, depression, illness, shame or guilt dominated the walls in which we grew up. In some way, negativity has affected our lives at one time or another. Life can be difficult, harsh and hard to understand. Life can suffocate us with negative surroundings.  

Have you ever said this to yourself?   “Lord, I can’t take this anymore. I am overwhelmed with negativity and discouragement.” We can become very discouraged during difficult times in our lives.  If we are merely living each day, under a cloud of negativity, we are not living life to glorify God.

Where is our joy? Where is our peace? Why are we so miserable?

We should be celebrating our progress. I am sure each of us can attest that our faith has been strengthened, by dumping some of the insecurities, letting go of fear that once held us captive and realizing how spiritually beautiful we are in Christ.  

A happy Christian isn’t self-seeking. It’s not about fulfilling one’s personal pleasures. It’s not a superficial feeling. A happy Christian contains a deep- rooted, inner joy and assurance, which give her credibility when she shares her love for Christ. A happy Christian is confident that God is with her all the time, even through the storms and tribulations.

Can we be happy all the time? No.  We are human, with human emotions. We often deal with a roller coaster of emotions depending on the life circumstance. Our minds, body and spirit can easily grow weary due to hardships and disappointments.

However, our walk with God is not intended to be miserable.  He has great plans for you. They are plans we could never imagine. They are plans that should give us hope for the future.

We should expect good things from God.  True happiness has to do with our faith and placing it with Jesus. He is the one true source of our happiness.

God has made us all unique with talents and gifts that we honor Him by sharing with others. The one thing we do have in common is that we have eternal peace. We can stand together as one group, a complete circle, strong and true, sharing our love for Christ.  And to make that bond strong and unbreakable, we have to be in agreement that we will strive for true happiness and grow as a Christian family.   

Are we ready to clear out the clutter and junk that’s keeping us from being the light of the world that God has made us? Are we ready to become who God wants us to be? Are we ready to experience the true joy with a whole new passion? We are all capable.

Let GO!

Let the Lord take this burden of negativity and replace it with goodness and let’s move forward – together – a band of strong Christians leading others to Christ.  Let’s renew our minds and focus on HIS WORD.

Let’s put our HOPE in HIS HANDS and see WHERE it TAKES US.

Let us concentrate on the following verses:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

(Phil. 4:8)

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

(Proverbs 15:13)

 Always be joyful.

(1 Thess 5:16)

With joy you will drink deeply from the fountain of salvation!

(Isaiah 12:3)

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

(Jer. 29:11)

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. 

(Heb. 11:1)

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. (Heb. 11:6)

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

(1 Peter 5:7)

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

(Matthew 6:33)

I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!

(John 15:11)

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

(Psalms 37:4)

So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!

(Psalms 32:11)

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

(Psalms 118:24)

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

(Romans 12:2)

All Bible scripture : HCSB

What is Your Life Verse? 

Yesterday as I was driving to work, the radio station that I normally listen to does this short, yet profound segment called,  "Proverb of the Day".  The DJ's read a bible scripture from the book of Proverbs, which coincides with the day of the months. They briefly discuss the meaning and how the verse intertwines in their lives. 

 Yesterday, being October 3rd, the verse they concentrated on was my life verse

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6 HCSB)
 
This caused me to reflect as to why this particular verse has become my life verse. Several years ago, maybe five or six, when I began to really dig deep into why and where the sexual abuse that I endured as a small child came from, I searched His Word for answers. Yes, there were several verses that stood out to me, that brought comfort and direction. This the one the God lead me to over and over. It really spoke to me. 

See, for years, I struggled to find answers to the whys and how comes. I wanted answers.  I needed resolve. I sought after peace. 

When I reflect on this verse, it simply reminds me that I must TRUST in Him completely and to stop trying to figure everything out on my own. It tells me not to rely on my own understanding. It tells me to seek after HIM in all my ways and He will surely guide me on the right path. 

When I truly needed understanding, God provided. I may not have gotten all the answers I thought I needed, but I did come to fully trust HIM. He has become my dictionary and encyclopedia. He has become my one true resource that I needed in helping me figure all this out.  He has healed my wounds and has brought from the dark pit that I once found myself deep, deep in. 

So, what is you life verse? Do you have one? Do you mind sharing how you came to choose it and how it helps and keeps you going every day? What does the verse mean to you?  Perhaps by sharing it can help someone else begin to search and dig into His Word for answers. Maybe it can lead to helping someone find their own life verse. 

You may need wisdom. You may need comfort. You may need direction. You many need peace. You may need encouragement.  You may need a kick start.  What ever you need, be confident that by seeking God, you will find the answers. 

Don't be afraid to ask for help from other Godly people to find the answers. I did. I have many times. I have reached out to those close to me, that know their bible in helping me find the right area and verse that I need. And we can have more than one life verse or it can change depending on the season in your life. The point is, DIG - open up The Holy Bible and search for what you need to so that God can help you. 

Where ever you are right now, you are not alone. Reach out and let God begin to work in your life. 

Heavenly Sister

Heavenly Sister


Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one, who believes in me, even if he dies, will live. (John 11:25-26. HCSB) 


As another year rolls around, I pause to celebrate the day, my little sister, Tina Diane Helms was received into Heaven.


She had long blond hair and a petite body frame. She wore a band of freckles across the bridge of her nose that complimented her green eyes. Her grin captured many hearts. Her sense of humor keen while wisdom far surpassed her youthful age of twelve. I shall never get over the courage I witnessed her exhibit as she braved each intrusive needle, battled the harsh side effects from chemotherapy and from the day she was diagnosed, she looked cancer on with a dauntless approach. Her gutsy attitude didn't match her tiny frame, yet it never surprised me as she remained grounded with hope and never once shied away from any pain she faced during the trying months of treatments. Her bold character would radiate when she stood up for her friends, her family, and her convictions. Her heart, compassionate and tender had a way of protecting and loving anyone she met. She had no difficulty putting up a fight, even through her battle with Leukemia.

Her strength came from the Lord.  I can't imagine her expected fears, yet she seemed comforted with certainty as the blond strands of hair began to fall loosely away or when her body violently rejected medications often leaving exhausting efforts to rid of them. He was there when her energetic zest for life began to diminish as days became more about sleeping and resting rather than running and playing.  There were times when it was obvious she was wearing, yet she still held onto her sense of humor, remaining calm, lighthearted in spite of the physical fatigue.

Even though the years go by without her being in my daily life, I still feel her presence. She lives through me and I can also see her attributes in my two daughters, Shannon and Rachel. Her smile, compassion,  quick wit and mischievous style, has been passed on to Shannon as her tenderness and love for adventure, I see in Rachel. As my two daughters mature and I grow, I often imagine a little bit more of Tina's personality coming out in them.

On this day, my sister went to Heaven. And while it's been years since I have seen her physical being, green eyes and grin, her presence forever, stays with me. Her days spent on earth are nothing compared to her eternal life. Her earthly life has been just the beginning. Ascending to heaven began her birth of infinite existence. I miss her still and I always will while at the same time, God has blessed me abundantly on earth with family. Not only do I see Tina in each of my daughters, He has blessed me with endearing friends that I call extended family. A profound presence of God shines deeply through each heart, reminding me that we don’t need the same DNA to be sisters.  I am often reminded of a statement that one of my Sisters in Christ once shared with me.  She once told me that once we get to Heaven, we would all be reunited as one family, not as separate families as we have been on earth. She used the term, ‘Sparkling Fireflies.’ commonly known as lightning bugs, buzzing around our Lord shining brightly. Tina is there, her soul freely buzzing, reflecting vibrantly as her eternal heart light will shine forever. As many of us have lost someone near to us, we can be reassured their every eternal heart light beams brightly.

 Remembering Mama June

Where Was God?

  We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 HCSB)

 I recently read an article written by well renowned, bible teacher, Joyce Meyer, describing her journey from hurt to healing during the years she was mentally, physically and sexually abused by her own father. The sexual abuse started at a very young age and she endured it until she finally moved out of her parents’ home when she turned eighteen.

 Sadly, too many can relate to this story. Even still, the article gave me hope and inspiration. It isn’t an easy topic to discuss, and I commend any person that is able to discuss the unsettling  details and especially those that have come out of the dark pits of disgrace and confusion that sexual abuse can leave.

 Abuse is defined as “to be misused”,  to be used improperly or to be wasted; to cause harm or damage. To commit sexual assault upon. 

 When a person is sexually abused often times the shame and guilt of keeping secrets ultimately causes harm which can lead to self-destructive or debilitating results. It can destroy a child’s self- esteem. It places doubt and fears in her mind that may take years to overcome. It interferes with relationships; at times it defeats a sound decision, and can cause lifelong struggles she never anticipated.    

Sexual abuse puts up barriers with trusting others, trusting the wrong people or even trusting herself. Sexual abuse harms the body, before the person is mentally or physically prepared to have a consensual relationship. Sometimes it leaves physical scars. It habitually leaves mental scars. 

 Sexual abuse disrupts families. It puts an unhealthy dishonor in the household, where many family members are reluctant to deal with the issue. The victim is often left alone, dealing with all the emotions, anxieties or understanding her role in the family. She becomes lonely and isolated, but mostly ashamed. She pretends everything is normal, hoping not to draw attention. She lives under a pretense, with her classmates, family, and friends. She may actually buy into the lies of perversion, believing this is a special kind of love, keeping the secrets, even though in the back of her mind and in her gut, she knows what is being done to her is wrong. 

 Sexual abuse can cause a paralyzing fear. She begins to second guess her every move. She questions motives. And many times create mental distractions that can lead to further destruction within her being. Satan is a cunning craftsman. He can take the innocence from a young child, with every intention to destroy her and leave her broken, feeling worthless and in despair. 

Satan can use the minds and bodies of others to place harm on this child, never once, regarding any damage caused to her. During the time, the predator succeeds in fooling those around him, playing out false niceties, and manipulating his victim, with what seems, little effort. The child has no recourse. The child asks the question where are you, God? The child wonders why God would place her in this situation. What defect she must have to cause these things to happen?

 Insecurities, fears, and doubt only increase with time. So, how does one become inspired from reading and remembering such horrific memories of being sexual abused? It is inspiring because by her knowing and believing God, in spite of the despair, she can also identify HOPE. 

 By no means is it easy. She has to go through a lot to get a place of assurance. Questions, resentment, angry and distrust develop into her character. She may even become harsh and difficult to understand. Or she may stay timid and uncertain about whom she is. She struggles with the “whys” and “how comes”. Trying to make sense of it all becomes her obsession. So, where was God during all this? 

 When a person goes through this, it is hard to see, past all the questions and distrust. Why would God put someone through this? Honestly, this question may never get a satisfying answer.


 "My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8. HCSB)


  He may not have taken the child out of the situation, but He gave her the strength to get through it.  She trusted and believed that His plan to help, not harm her and she was  redeemed. When redemption comes, an indescribable healing will follow. And when it happens you will know it. The wounds are mended forever. God’s plan is far greater than ANYTHING Satan could have ever placed in her path. Know deep, deep down within the soul, that God will bring something good out of this.

 It may take a little while, and in His time, she became transformed into the woman, he meant for her to be. The anxieties melted away. She gained confidence. He rebuilt trust and created bridges that lead to helping others. She found her voice and finally able to tell her story, without trepidation. He taught her about forgiveness,  the ultimate key to healing. God filled the hole in your heart.  It may seem impossible but believe me, it’s true. God can set anyone free from the past. 

 I write this because, I am living proof this is possible. My childhood is filled with memories that left me feeling worthless and alone, but God wouldn’t let me stay there. He has redeemed me from six years of childhood sexual abuse. He has blessed beyond measure with family, friends and confidence that He finds praiseworthy in me. Trust God, and allow Him to do the work in you. He will restore you, and believe that all things do work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.