For I am with you, and no one will attack and harm you, for many people in this city belong to me.” (Acts 18:10 NLT).
I dreaded as I knew it was coming, as he already told me of his plan. He reminded me of the secret when he said, he would come to my room that evening. My heart pounded with fear, as I waited. How would I be able to stop this? What could I do? I didn't have any answers, I just felt numb and knew that his power was greater than mine.
A family friend, that had become very close to us, perhaps too close became intertwined in our home. This man fooled the adults in my life, and regardless of their oblivious insight, this man held me emotionally and spiritually captive for years, by using manipulation and threats to sexual molest me. That evening, while my siblings and I were under his care, he told me that he would be coming to my room after my brother and sister had fallen asleep, I took his word for it. At this point, there was nothing to convince me otherwise. Every act he had mentioned thus far, he managed to carry out, so why wouldn't this be any different? And nothing had changed in me to stop it. I was felt helpless and afraid. I had no voice.
Many years have gone by since he took my childhood. The innocence and carefree attitude that I once possessed, is no longer part of me. Although, it was challenging and discouraging, God held his promise to get me though the turmoil. The Lord has given me the courage and strength to overcome this abuse. The chains that once kept me captive in fear, have been broken free.
Although, I overcame the emotional pain from enduring the abuse, I often thought about that night, when that man came into my bedroom. How was he able to succeed and get away from leaving any physical damage to my little girl body? There were no evidence that would show that a grown man had just raped a young child. There was no blood. There was no pain. There was no tears. I don't recall making any noise or whimpering. In fact, I lay as still as I could, waiting for him to finish. Outwardly, no one would be able to tell, that I had been violated.
For years, I tried to piece it together, to make sense of it. and finally concluded, this was this man's craft. He was a skilled child molester, and knew exactly how far to go, so that no trace of evidence was left. I classified him as to being a "pro". He was cunning enough to know his limits, when to stop and how to ensure he could get away with this act.
For years, I gave him the credit. Yes, he was getting his directions and insight from Satan. Yes, he knew what he was doing and how to make sure there would be no ties to him. But the fact remains that I was never physically harmed from this act of violence. This man deserves no credit!
Just this week, it hit me. I am woman in her twenty sixth year of marriage, which has been healthy. I have had two children, who are also healthy. I have never had any physically liabilities due to my body being misused at such a young age. It really hit me, what really happened that evening when I was raped. Or perhaps, the bigger question WHO was with me that evening?
Jesus deserves the credit!!
I know without a doubt that I was not alone when this occurred. I know without a doubt that Jesus put Himself between me and this man to protect for any lasting physical damage that could be caused by a rape. Jesus took the abuse in my place. Jesus took the rape, so that I could grow up, marry and have children. I give God all the honor and glory for my family; my husband and my children, where I have shared being a parent for twenty five years.
Jesus protected me that evening and the countless other times, this man raped me and abused my body. Jesus ensured, that I would not only become emotionally healthy, He ensured my body would be healthy as well. Jesus promises He is with me, then and now. I belong to HIM!!
Although, I overcame the emotional pain from enduring the abuse, I often thought about that night, when that man came into my bedroom. How was he able to succeed and get away from leaving any physical damage to my little girl body? There were no evidence that would show that a grown man had just raped a young child. There was no blood. There was no pain. There was no tears. I don't recall making any noise or whimpering. In fact, I lay as still as I could, waiting for him to finish. Outwardly, no one would be able to tell, that I had been violated.
For years, I tried to piece it together, to make sense of it. and finally concluded, this was this man's craft. He was a skilled child molester, and knew exactly how far to go, so that no trace of evidence was left. I classified him as to being a "pro". He was cunning enough to know his limits, when to stop and how to ensure he could get away with this act.
For years, I gave him the credit. Yes, he was getting his directions and insight from Satan. Yes, he knew what he was doing and how to make sure there would be no ties to him. But the fact remains that I was never physically harmed from this act of violence. This man deserves no credit!
Just this week, it hit me. I am woman in her twenty sixth year of marriage, which has been healthy. I have had two children, who are also healthy. I have never had any physically liabilities due to my body being misused at such a young age. It really hit me, what really happened that evening when I was raped. Or perhaps, the bigger question WHO was with me that evening?
Jesus deserves the credit!!
I know without a doubt that I was not alone when this occurred. I know without a doubt that Jesus put Himself between me and this man to protect for any lasting physical damage that could be caused by a rape. Jesus took the abuse in my place. Jesus took the rape, so that I could grow up, marry and have children. I give God all the honor and glory for my family; my husband and my children, where I have shared being a parent for twenty five years.
Jesus protected me that evening and the countless other times, this man raped me and abused my body. Jesus ensured, that I would not only become emotionally healthy, He ensured my body would be healthy as well. Jesus promises He is with me, then and now. I belong to HIM!!
