When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Proverbs 31:26-31 ( NLT)
On Mother’s day it comes natural to us reflect on our mom’s. We give thanks that she is still with us. We miss her because she is not. We thank her a for the diaper changes and wiping our noses, and her gentleness when we skinned our knees. She sat up with us when we had an earache or a bad dream. She stuck it out with us as we grew into adolescence, especially when our mouths and attitudes we less becoming. She became a carpool mom driving us to soccer practice or dance class. She sat on the sidelines being our biggest cheerleader. She was there for our breakups and sat patiently in the passenger seat, discreetly pressing firmly on the imaginary brake. She listened and gave advice when it came to filling out our first job application. She beamed with pride when graduated high school and talked about colleges and career dreams. She is there to share in our lives as we begin our own families. A mother’s love comes without stipulation or condition. A mother’s love is just that - LOVE.
Unless……
Unless, you didn’t have a mom like this. Maybe your mom was less attentive. Maybe she was more distracted than other mothers and you didn’t receive the attention you needed as a child. Maybe you had to put on your own bandages and deal with your bruises. Perhaps, she was absent during those crucial moments in your life. Maybe through some of the most difficult times in your life, you were on your own, without the nurturing and gentle touch to guide and direct you. Maybe you didn’t have the ideal home life. Maybe, just maybe, your mom wasn’t perfect.
Eve, the original mom pioneered the path for moms. When it comes to dysfunction, Eve and her boys had their issues. Eve didn’t have a role model or a female mentor to ask advice when Cain and Abel were teething or going through their terrible twos. She had to wing it, which ultimately resulted in countless mistakes. Her family was the first to experience domestic violence and she was the first to lose a child.
Maybe you're more familiar with Sarah, who grew impatient and took matters into her own hands by asking another woman to bear her child, then became resentful. Perhaps someone like Rebekah, hits home who played favorites with her children. Then we have Bathsheba, who had a child with a man, other than her husband, creating havoc in her household.
Moms are not perfect. This mother’s day, if possible, try to acknowledge the Mother that you were given. You may have survived family dysfunction, emotional neglect, psychological abuse, violence within your own home, yet you are still here. You may have been spiritually abused and told that you are not important, not even to God. You were left to deal with the aftermath. Just like the women in the bible, no one is perfect. If your mother lacked in some way, try not to be too harsh and hold that against her. Instead, embrace the possibility that she is stronger than you are giving her credit. Give thanks that you were born and given opportunities; a chance to grow, learn and trust in your own relationship with God.
The women: Eve, Sarah, Rebekah and Bathsheba, in spite of the turmoils, God also redeemed them. Eve may have been given a bad rap, yet she did her best with what she knew. Sarah had to learn patience and it started with motherhood, knowing that good things do come. Rebekah reminds us to remain humble and not to use our maternal gifts as power of manipulation. And Bathsheba, gives us hope. Regardless of the circumstances, God can redeem any situation.
My mother wasn't perfect. I haven’t been perfect. Yet, the blessing that I received and still receive gives me the best part of being a mom. If we can look past the imperfections and give our mothers and ourselves some grace, forgive and embrace the cherished moments, it can open up new paths and the thought that God must have trusted the woman that gave birth to us, otherwise, we wouldn't be here. Appreciate the lessons and appreciate the imperfections, for without them, motherhood would not be respected and as precious.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Ephesians 6:1-3 (NLT)
