We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 HCSB)
I recently read an article written by well renowned, bible teacher, Joyce Meyer, describing her journey from hurt to healing during the years she was mentally, physically and sexually abused by her own father. The sexual abuse started at a very young age and she endured it until she finally moved out of her parents’ home when she turned eighteen.
Sadly, too many can relate to this story. Even still, the article gave me hope and inspiration. It isn’t an easy topic to discuss, and I commend any person that is able to discuss the unsettling details and especially those that have come out of the dark pits of disgrace and confusion that sexual abuse can leave.
Abuse is defined as “to be misused”, to be used improperly or to be wasted; to cause harm or damage. To commit sexual assault upon.
When a person is sexually abused often times the shame and guilt of keeping secrets ultimately causes harm which can lead to self-destructive or debilitating results. It can destroy a child’s self- esteem. It places doubt and fears in her mind that may take years to overcome. It interferes with relationships; at times it defeats a sound decision, and can cause lifelong struggles she never anticipated.
Sexual abuse puts up barriers with trusting others, trusting the wrong people or even trusting herself. Sexual abuse harms the body, before the person is mentally or physically prepared to have a consensual relationship. Sometimes it leaves physical scars. It habitually leaves mental scars.
Sexual abuse disrupts families. It puts an unhealthy dishonor in the household, where many family members are reluctant to deal with the issue. The victim is often left alone, dealing with all the emotions, anxieties or understanding her role in the family. She becomes lonely and isolated, but mostly ashamed. She pretends everything is normal, hoping not to draw attention. She lives under a pretense, with her classmates, family, and friends. She may actually buy into the lies of perversion, believing this is a special kind of love, keeping the secrets, even though in the back of her mind and in her gut, she knows what is being done to her is wrong.
Sexual abuse can cause a paralyzing fear. She begins to second guess her every move. She questions motives. And many times create mental distractions that can lead to further destruction within her being. Satan is a cunning craftsman. He can take the innocence from a young child, with every intention to destroy her and leave her broken, feeling worthless and in despair.
Satan can use the minds and bodies of others to place harm on this child, never once, regarding any damage caused to her. During the time, the predator succeeds in fooling those around him, playing out false niceties, and manipulating his victim, with what seems, little effort. The child has no recourse. The child asks the question where are you, God? The child wonders why God would place her in this situation. What defect she must have to cause these things to happen?
Insecurities, fears, and doubt only increase with time. So, how does one become inspired from reading and remembering such horrific memories of being sexual abused? It is inspiring because by her knowing and believing God, in spite of the despair, she can also identify HOPE.
By no means is it easy. She has to go through a lot to get a place of assurance. Questions, resentment, angry and distrust develop into her character. She may even become harsh and difficult to understand. Or she may stay timid and uncertain about whom she is. She struggles with the “whys” and “how comes”. Trying to make sense of it all becomes her obsession. So, where was God during all this?
When a person goes through this, it is hard to see, past all the questions and distrust. Why would God put someone through this? Honestly, this question may never get a satisfying answer.
"My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8. HCSB)
He may not have taken the child out of the situation, but He gave her the strength to get through it. She trusted and believed that His plan to help, not harm her and she was redeemed. When redemption comes, an indescribable healing will follow. And when it happens you will know it. The wounds are mended forever. God’s plan is far greater than ANYTHING Satan could have ever placed in her path. Know deep, deep down within the soul, that God will bring something good out of this.
It may take a little while, and in His time, she became transformed into the woman, he meant for her to be. The anxieties melted away. She gained confidence. He rebuilt trust and created bridges that lead to helping others. She found her voice and finally able to tell her story, without trepidation. He taught her about forgiveness, the ultimate key to healing. God filled the hole in your heart. It may seem impossible but believe me, it’s true. God can set anyone free from the past.
I write this because, I am living proof this is possible. My childhood is filled with memories that left me feeling worthless and alone, but God wouldn’t let me stay there. He has redeemed me from six years of childhood sexual abuse. He has blessed beyond measure with family, friends and confidence that He finds praiseworthy in me. Trust God, and allow Him to do the work in you. He will restore you, and believe that all things do work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.
