Let Me Tell You About My Friend

A Friend Loves At All Times – (Proverbs 17:17 HCSB)

February 12, 2011



“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

She is there, waiting in the wings for that, ‘just in case’ moment. She is only a phone call away. She shares your joy. She is offers spontaneous surprises. She provides wisdom. She has a great laugh. She enjoys life. She is there to offer assistance, with an open mind and giving heart. She is rare and loyal. She is a friend, through thick and thin. She is constant. It gives me great pleasure to recognize my friend. Every now and then, we get the opportunity to reflect and be thankful for our friends. I am certainly thankful for mine.

Let me tell you about my friend, Paula. Thirty years ago, Paula and I met. Actually, at the time, I don’t believe either one of us realized the significance it would bring to our lives. Paula is a rare treasure; the type that increase in value over time. As each year passes, the time spent together, moments shared and the bond we have developed has only improved. Over time, we have gained maturity and wisdom. We appreciate each other’s unique attributes. We believe that our journey as friends has been God directed and God led.

I consider Paula more than just my friend. She is my sister. We didn’t come from the same bloodlines and no common family background. We didn’t grow up together. In fact, we didn’t meet until we were in our late teens. Maybe that is what made our meeting so special. Neither one of us was expecting it, yet it came just at the right time

All those years ago when we first me, I needed a friend. I believe she needed one too. Maybe that is why we jelled right away. February 7 marks my younger sister’s birthday. It is a time of year, when I would reflect on Tina. Her life, the short time we got to be sisters. It also reminded me to celebrate her eternal LIFE in Heaven. Of course I missed her. I missed the moments we created and what it meant to have that one person on earth that had the same interests, the same sense of humor, the quiet tenderness only a sister could share. It wasn’t the same year of my sister’s death, that I met Paula. It was actually several years later, although, I’ve always found it astounding that God saw fit for us to meet in February. At a time when I would truly miss my own sister, God brought Paula into my life to become my sister.

Paula quickly stepped into that role to help create a new beginning, a new hope that I certainly needed. Paula wasn’t there to replace my sister or her memory. She added to it; the reassurance that I wouldn’t have to face the world alone. Paula became the one person that I learned to trust with my questions and uncertainties. She became that person that I began to entertain life with again. We did a lot of sister things. We giggled. We talked. We cried. We grew up together.

Paula became my confidant. At times, she has been my Christian mentor. She shared her endearing mother with me that carried a very strong FAITH. Being the young women we were, we often needed a Christian mother's influence. There were times when Paula became my rock, when I felt desperate or uncertain. She has remained steadfast, never faltering, always being a good friend.

Paula is the real deal. She is generous, loyal and trustworthy. She is funny, crafty and can be competitive. She is brilliant when it comes to her occupation as a Registered Nurse. It suits her very well. She is patient and compassionate. She is smart and very qualified. She is wise and at the same time, doesn’t second-guess the hard decisions.

Paula is my family. Not only has she become my sister, she is the Aunt to my two daughters. Shannon and Rachel identify no other family as they do their Aunt Paula. Even though, we live far apart, we seize every opportunity to insure our girls grow knowing each other as family. We often joke about how our children take after us. April, Paula’s daughter and I share similar qualities, as do Paula and Shannon, my oldest daughter. Shannon can be very much like Paula when it comes to having a die-hard shopper mentality. They are also equally crafty. When it comes to shopping, well for April and I, not so much. Rachel, my youngest daughter, has a special bond with her Aunt Paula. They connected very quickly in Rachel’s newborn life. When she was born three months pre mature, Paula was there, helping Rachel's fragile beginning strengthen.

There is no one else in this world that I can ever imagine being my best friend and sister. God certainly answered my prayer when He brought her into my life. We have been through many seasons together. Some joyous, some difficult, and yet thirty years feels we're just getting started. We have many more adventures ahead of us.

Paula, I adore you. I appreciate you with every ounce of my being. I thank you for sticking around and sharing this journey with me. Get your flip-flops ready because you and I have date, with a sandy beach, a cool breeze and many more memories to make.

Paula, you are my dearest friend. You are my sister. You’re my family. Here is to thirty years of great times, memorable times, and most defiantly cherished times. I am excited to see what the next thirty will bring. I hope you are too.

Twenty-Five Years And Still Enjoying The Laughs

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2: 24 HCSB)


It has been a while. Time isn't as generous as it used to be. Somewhere between, living, working and doing, it has left little time for me to pen the words I so love to do. Today brought me opportunity, so I'm going for it. A creative mind likes time; time to sit down with thoughts, which allows the creative juices to flow. What ever the hobby one enjoys, photography, scrap booking, teaching, music, or writing, it takes time for the mind, spirit, and creativity to come together.

So today, when I find time to sit and write, I try to imagine some thing heartfelt and inspirational will float my direction. Then it hit me.

Thirty years ago, when youth was taken for granted, I was barely out of high school. Thirty years ago, a boyish, brown eyed stranger floundered his way into my life. Yes, I said, floundered. This fella rounded the corner that represented the serving line, where I stood ready and prepared to serve the next customer. I possibly gripped the handle of the sharpened carving knife a little tighter. The heating lamps kept the tasteful Texas Barbecue warm and I anticipated what I would need to use the knife on. Would it be to slice the beef brisket, a few hot links or slide the blade between the tender ribs. All that escaped my mind when I set eyes on the scuba mask that covered his face and watched him fin his way toward me.

A sudden thought flooded my mind. I could turn and run, but the notion of running with something sharp in my hand could bring me more harm. So instead I stood firm. I glanced over at my friend that stood at her post, the cash register. First, serve the customer, then ring up the bill, would be the natural order of things. I gave her a look as if to say, "Is this guy for real?"

She of course knew him and chuckled as he made his way toward me to place his order as if all was normal in his world. I took his order, made his plate and directed him on his way around the serving line. He removed his gear so he could eat and began visting with his friend, who had also became my friend of recent weeks. I kept my distance. Still a bit uncertain, I let them talk and I observed. After he finished his meal, Jacques Cousteau thanked us for our hospitality and finned his way out toward the exit.

My good friend, explained this was his silly nature. Always the prankster.

After a little time goes by, my friend Paula asks me if I remember this guy. I say, I can hardly forget him. Her next question would be, if I would be interested in going on a date with him. Knowing now, his goofy and playful self was all in fun, I agree. However, my thought process begins. Even though I grew up in South Texas with plenty of opportunity to swim, I had never been snorkeling. Would he be leaving his swim gear at home this time?

As they say, the rest is history.

25 years later, the nutty swim boy and I are celebrating our 25 wedding anniversary.

I guess the first thing would come to one's mind is sharing of our sense of humor. Right off the bat, I learned his quirky ways. In many respects, I eased him into mine. One thing after all these years is we still have fun, we laugh and we enjoy one another's company. But it's also been more that that. While laughing is important, I have found that being married to goofy and sometimes down right insane guy, that God hand picked him for me.

God knew that I would need to laugh a lot, but he also knew that I would need a man that sticks by his word, remain trustworthy and stand by his family. Charles has given me many years of tenderness right along with the laughs. In many ways, we have grown up together, learning and maturing in our marriage. Moments have been tough a time or two, like when our youngest daughter was born three months pre mature. We united together as one flesh to get through that, watching her body heal and grow stronger. We both adore our girls that have grown up into very responsible and grounded young women. I love being their mom as much as Charles loves being their dad.

Other times, when we have to count on one another's support in dealing with deaths and illnesses with our own parents. The struggles was there, but again we united as one.

Today, we appreciate one another even more. I will be honest and say that I don't look at Charles the same way I did those many years ago. Yes, I still appreciate his sense of humor, but I see so much more today. He is a man that loves his wife and his children with all that his has. He is man that works hard to provide what his can and when he makes a promise he keeps it. He is man that has become my friend. He is man that encourages me to dream. He is man that loves God and even through the faults, is still designed to do God's will in his life and in ours. I have seen him mature in Christ. That in itself is worth sticking around for.

Charles Barkley Jr, I love you with all my heart and I am glad you artificially swam into my life, 30 years ago. You are kooky as the day as long, but I wouldn't change a thing about you. Well, maybe one....please stop balling up your socks. It's a bear to go through, unknotting each one before tossing them in the wash.

January 4, 2011, Happy 25th Anniversary!!!

Side note: I still hold my friend Paula close to my heart. She has been my sister and friend for 30 years. I don't hold any of this against her.