A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey,
I've reminisced this thought. I loved my mom. She did her best with what she knew. She cared for her family, fed us, kept our home immaculate. She had a tender heart for others. She adored her grandchildren. She loved. I miss her.
There have been other women that left imprints on my heart and I would consider each one to be special mamas in my life. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
My Grandma Helms, perhaps the one woman on this earth that enveloped me under her wing. She always had time for me. She laughed with me, protected me and often made me feel as I was the most important person in the world.
Aunt Fern, whom of which I appreciated her love very much. She, too, had way that helped me to feel special. She was the first family member that I confided about the sexual abuse that I endured as a child. It wasn't easy because most of the trust level in my life has been shattered long ago. She believed me.
Mama June, how I affectionately referred to my dear friend's mom. Paula has always been gracious to share her mother with me. Mama June, an endearing soul that took me as her daughter, nurtured, advised and mentored me in such a Godly way, I craved more.
A few others are Mrs. Mary Beth Girard, Mrs. Ruby Frazier, Mrs. Mary Parrish, Carol Tate, Mandy, Aunt Becky Wllburn and Aunt Tudie Albrecht. Each of these women left a mark on my heart. At one time or another, each reminded me of my value. They will always remain fondly in my memories and heart.
Perhaps these last two women may be the most profound in my life, that I may find it hard to respectively describe just what they mean to me.
Mrs. Irene Sorrow. What a beautiful woman she is. She has known me most of my life and from the very early years, has always shown me love and concern. She has never failed to accept me when I needed a kind word, a warm embrace or to simply remind me that I matter. She still reaches out to me and I love that she is still in my life. She has been a catalyst in the healing as I overcame the horrors of my past. God has used her to be part of that healing and for that I will be forever humbled and thankful.
Aunt Lola. Oh, sweet Aunt Lola, my mom's twin. She has always been in my life. It was in the mid seventies when I first noticed this woman's love. As my own mother was going through a battle with cancer, surgeries and recovery, Aunt Lola took my sister and I in for the summer. We imagined ourselves in a grand adventure, being able to travel from the small south Texas coastal town to Pearl, Mississippi. That summer as Tina and I were under my Aunt’s care, there was never a moment where we felt sad, concerned or worried about what was going on with our mom. This is how much Aunt Lola protected us. A few years later, life took another difficult turn. My sister, Tina was battling Leukemia. Home life was in an upheaval. Again, I went to stay with Aunt Lola and her family. She enveloped me with love and although I was separated and concerned for my little sister, Aunt Lola took that burden for me. When my mother became ill and unable to care for herself, Aunt Lola, along with my mom's other sisters, Bonnie and Carolyn filled in the gap until I was able to take the helm. Aunt Lola has always put herself second to others. She has been my greatest example of family love and support.
As I consider all these women, which of whom I will always hold a special place in my heart, let me reflect back on my mother. I love to hear from her peers or from those that knew her differently than I did. I love to hear their stories of her, that remind of her gentle spirit and tenderness toward others. Sometimes our perspective of moms can be one sided. Sometimes moms go through difficult passages in her life, leaving her unaware of her intentions. We all fail and we let others down. My mother loved as best as she could. As her health began to fail and she relied on me more than anyone on this earth, is probably when I first began seeing her love for me. She would compliment me and tell me how much she loved me, practically at every visit. In the last days she was here, as she lay in coma, unable to speak, I sat by her bedside and talked to her. I let her know that I loved her and even through the mistakes, I knew she truly loved me.
Sometimes we don’t grow up in a household filled with baking cookies, warm hugs or overly loving parents. Homes may have been a bit more turbulent, confusing and less affectionate. As difficult as it may have been at the time, I still choose to honor the woman that has borne me and I thank God for always being in control. He has brought me through so much; has given me the strength and peace of mind to hold my mother’s memory with integrity.
All the women that I mention most likely mean nothing to anyone else except for me. But perhaps there are those you can place in your lifetime that has left a familiar imprint. She could be a Sunday school helper, a favorite teacher, a family friend, a big sister, an Aunt or Grandmother. Some of the ladies I mentioned were only in my life for a season and some for a lifetime, but each has left that impact with me that helped me grow into the woman that I am today. I thank all the women in their nurturing ways that taught me so much. You see, as I mentioned each woman, she has been the jigsaw puzzle piece that fit together perfectly into a broken little girl’s life to make her life whole and it all started with God and my mother.
For this I am humbled and thankful.
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